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The Shift From Telling to Asking
Management expert Peter Drucker famously stated, “The leader of the past knew how to tell, the leader of the future will know how to ask.” This insight is critical in the modern workplace. Most leaders manage knowledge workers—people who know more about what they are doing than their boss does. In this environment, it is ineffective to simply tell people what to do. Instead, leaders must ask, listen, and learn from everyone on their team. The foundational question every leader should be willing to ask is, "What needs to be done?"
The Proven Effectiveness of Asking
Research confirms that asking is a powerful leadership tool. A study involving over 11,000 leaders and 86,000 coworkers from eight major corporations produced clear findings: leaders who ask for suggestions, listen to their colleagues, learn from them, and consistently follow up are perceived as becoming more effective. Conversely, leaders who do not engage in this process show little to no improvement.
This principle extends beyond internal teams. Similar research with external customers revealed that customer satisfaction rises when service representatives actively ask, listen, learn, and follow up.
If It's So Simple, Why Don't Leaders Ask?
Despite the clear benefits, 360° feedback data from thousands of leaders shows that the item "Asks people what he or she can do to improve" is almost always ranked near the bottom in employee satisfaction. There are two primary barriers that prevent leaders from asking for feedback.
1. Inflated Ego
Many successful people become delusional about the reasons for their success, attributing positive results to their own ability and poor results to external factors. This is reflected in self-assessments of over 50,000 leaders, where a staggering 85% ranked themselves in the “top 20%” of their professional peers, a perception that held true even in companies facing bankruptcy. When you believe you already know more than everyone else, there seems to be no reason to ask for their input.
2. Fear of the Answer
While ego is a significant factor, the biggest reason leaders don’t ask is fear. Deep down, they are afraid of what they might hear. The author shares a personal example of avoiding a physical exam for seven years, telling himself he would do it after making other life improvements. This avoidance was a way of shielding himself from potentially unwelcome news—a behavior mirrored by leaders who avoid asking for feedback about their performance.
How to Cultivate the Habit of Asking
Improving your ability to lead and connect doesn't have to be complex. It starts with having the courage to ask for input and the discipline to do something with what you learn.
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As a Leader: Regularly ask your key co-workers for their ideas on "What needs to be done?" Thank them for their input, listen to understand, and incorporate the ideas that make sense. Critically, follow up to ensure real, positive change is occurring.
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As a Coach: Encourage your clients to ask, listen, and learn from everyone around them. Model this behavior yourself, demonstrating the value of learning from key stakeholders.
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As a Friend and Family Member: Apply the same principle to your personal life. Ask the people you love how you can be a better partner, friend, or parent. These relationships are often the most important ones in your life.
Ultimately, as Peter Drucker suggested, we must start by asking, "What needs to be done?" Who will you ask first? '''